Monday, February 17, 2014

Can We Stop With the "Amazing"?

How apt that on a day filled with sedation dentistry, a doozy of a code brown, a Charlie meltdown, and mom's precarious mental health, this article was published.


  1. That article was AMAZING! (Ok, I just had to do it....sorry!). No really...I have to agree with that word being used too much when it comes to our abilities (or lack of, in my case) to raise kiddos with special needs. Try it for a day people and you might not use that word ever again!!! ;)

  2. Just read your article on KSL, and thank you. No, I don't have the same experiences, but you know how that goes. Sometimes, like you said, "tell me about your child." Yeah, it can get hard. Some days I just want to throw in the towel. But those sunsets and those cupcakes, yeah, I can go for "amazing" for those. Love you.

  3. I feel the same way when people tell me "You're such a good mom." When they say things like that, I just want to shrivel up and hide in the hole of a rock because it makes me feel so dishonest. How can I pretend to be such a 'good mom' or so 'patient' when I'm out and about, and then come home and the patience is gone and I'm just trying to survive?

    At the same time, I tell my sister all the time what a great mom she is, because I can see how much she adores her son. And I won't stop telling her. I know I've used amazing to describe women, too. I have a son that is a huge challenge for me, so when I see women with children with the same or greater needs, I view them with a sense of deep respect and reverence. (I also view any women with any children that somehow still have a clean house with deep respect. Because it seems impossible to me. :) )

    Because, sometimes just muddling through the day is a miracle in itself. And because just surviving day after day shows strength that I sometimes don't have. And because women, as women, have such a beautiful presence and miraculous faith and admirable strength; it is amazing.

    So even if you don't feel like, it, I say it is still true. And I think the Lord agrees with me. :) Motherhood, with all its simplicity and struggles and weakness and imperfection, is a sacred and beautiful thing.

    Thanks for making me cry. ;)

  4. You really nailed it with this article. My favorite is when people tell me how much patience I have and I'm tempted to impersonate that Despicable Me minion who says "Whaaaat?". They clearly don't know me at all, but they assume that I MUST have endless reservoirs of patience simply because I have two special needs children. I get it all, the "You're doing an amazing job with them" and "You're such an awesome mom" and I just want to say, "Look, I'm basically just trying to get us all through the day alive and at the end of the day, when, by some miracle, both children are in bed and I've only been slapped twice...I can say the day was a success, but I certainly don't feel amazing. Talk to me after I've had a 90 minute full body massage." I bite my tongue though, and say nothing because I won't lie and I don't want to make them uncomfortable, just for trying to give me a compliment.

    I know they mean well and are either trying to boost my self esteem or they genuinely can't imagine handling the challenges that I do. I know I couldn't imagine handling them before I had no choice but to handle them, so sometimes I look at my life and say, "Wow, it's amazing that we've made it this far, because I really had my doubts, but look at us! We're still here and we're still TRYING, and that IS amazing."

    I enjoy reading your blog and your articles. I can definitely relate. Thank you!