Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Boy Town

I just read an article which says that men with sisters and daughters are more charitable in all areas of their lives, and that men with no sisters or daughters are stingier and more self-centered. We can add this to the growing stack of studies which the media likes to print, all explaining that people who do not have daughters are disadvantaged in every way.

One article I read a few months back explained that women with only sons die earlier than women with daughters. Glad to know my sons are killing me slowly. Thanks soooo much for confirming this.

Another article on the challenges faced by an aging population claimed that the only sure way to know you will be cared for in your old age, is to have at least two daughters. Plus lots of money.

Well skippity doo dah, I've got neither of those. Jeff and I will have to shake off the dementia as long as possible so we can haul our own creaky bones to doctor appointments and cook up something soft and bland to spoon-feed each other for supper.

I've got something to say to the world of social researchers and the media outlets who are airing this stuff: I'm not sure if you are in cahoots with the makers of princess dress-ups, tutu crinolines, and those ubiquitous baby headbands with giant flower embellishments, or if you have some other agenda; but this mom of only boys doesn't care to hear your reports which declare that families like mine are deficient.

This is not China or India: people in these parts value and cherish their daughters, so I'm not sure if this is the motivation for these studies and this slant in reporting. Is it some sort of ancillary feminist reasoning, to make families without baby girls seem inadequate? No comprendo.

Seriously, if a mom of boys wants to feel marginalized, she need not read these types of articles. All she has to do is walk into a baby boutique and be bombarded with heaps of girly ensembles as she searches for the scant stock of boy clothes. When I was pregnant with my toddler, I entered such a store and, baffled, asked the salesperson where the baby boy clothes were located. She said (I quote), "There is that one rack by the door, and this one rack right here with these little white shirts and ties."

Well press my laundry. I had the option of blue onesies or crisp dress shirts for my newborn.

Maybe the media isn't conspiring to attack the all-boy family. Maybe I am merely sensitive to things which point out how girls are superior at caring and are supremely fun to dress, while boys apparently abandon their elderly parents, to whose demise they have heavily contributed.

Whatever.

I love my incredibly complicated posse of small men. They are plenty complex and (once they reach opinionated preschool age) impossible to dress in cute, mom-designed ensembles anyway. They challenge me like nothing else I've ever experienced.

But we are a real family too, even if I am the lone girl. And we honestly face enough challenges with cognitive delays and behavior issues without hearing from experts that as parents of "just" boys, we are surely doomed.

This is my all-boy family, and I don't find us lacking. Except in tutus.

3 comments:

  1. You know, I've read the articles and wondered some of those same things myself about Nick's and my golden years. The promise of hope has come from watching my sweet dad care for his lonely and feeble widowed father, every evening and every weekend for the past two years. It's very sweet and very selfless and also proof that these studies are rubbish. Being a mom to only boys is the best and I personally wouldn't change it for anything!

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  2. I know you don't want to hear this, but my dad is responsible for some of that sister research! It came out of his Seattle study...I'm so sorry!

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  3. I read one once that said that women with sons lost their baby weight a lot faster, because they were chasing their boys around I guess. :) Silly statistics...

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